Cribs 2017: The Unheated Studio Flat Edition

It took a bit of time, but I'm here. I've got bin-liners and an Allen key. I'm about to tackle Ikea self-assembly. I've gone mattress shopping, which as it turns out is a very pleasant experience where they give you cups of tea and invite you to bounce on a variety of expensive beds. I've had the internet set up twice, once on Monday and once more when it broke down half an hour later. I've moved my furniture around pointlessly out of pure curiosity. I've become dictator of the central heating.

I've moved into my own flat.

Okay, so the mattress I bought won't arrive for a few more days, so in the meantime I'm sleeping on a rather uncomfortable sofabed (I keep dreaming I'm an Indian yogi lying on a bed of nails to impress my circle of hippie followers). And the radiator is tiny. And there's bird poo on the window. But the window's so big! And it's mine (well, rented). The kitchen's adorable and the bathroom's surprisingly spacious. I'm on a leafy street with an easy walk to the beach and the city. I feel very lucky and I think once I actually have, y'know, basic furniture I'll have something pretty nice going on. The space is small but I think I can make it cosy and welcoming if I invest in a couple more candles and drapey materials. I've only been here a few days so I still feel a bit in-between, but I'm looking forward to being properly settled in. Living by yourself for the first time opens up a lot of opportunities to cook in your pyjamas while you play the same Dead Kennedys song on loop and rest assured, I will be taking those opportunities. Plus, I'm eliminating the two-hour-per-day commute I've been doing the last three months, and that frees up a lot of time for blogging and mooching about in cafes.

Life is good.

5 Things I Miss About Japan

Okay, I already did the post about things I love in the UK. But there are nice things and not-so-nice things about every place, so without further ado:


Mountains - I never knew I liked mountains. In Japan you can see mountains pretty much anywhere in any direction that isn't the sea. It's not only majestic, but also gives you an odd sense of protection. Like the hordes aren't going to come and get you. The hordes could totally come and get you in the UK.

Sento - Since coming back in August, I'm not sure I've ever felt...100% clean. Or maybe I've felt 100% clean, but a sento - a Japanese bathhouse - gets you 130% clean, you know? The little pre-bath showers, the steam everywhere, the lovely big massive bottles of shampoo and lotion and the weird novelty baths with the electric current running through them - they all contribute to a kind of super-clean you can't quite get from an everyday shower. Oh, and it might sound strange, but: when there's an open-air bath with a balcony and a view, and you get the chance to be there all by yourself, and after a few minutes of soaking in the tub you get out and don't even notice the cold air around you because your body temperature is so high, and you're naked as the day you were born with no shame whatsoever and looking out onto the city sprawled below you...you honestly feel like the supreme ruler of the universe. Trust me on that one.

Decent opening hours - Are you in the UK right now? Do you want to buy something or do some kind of activity outside your house? Is it later than 5.30? Too bad. I have a theory that this is genuinely a large contributing reason to the UK's binge-drinking culture. Places that actually have things you can do when it's night-time don't seem to become weird pits of alcoholic despair after dark in quite the same way we do. In Barcelona, kids run around the public squares well past an English kid's bedtime, making their own entertainment while their parents laugh and joke with their friends in nearby cafes. In Seoul, people buy jumpers and drink frappuccinos at midnight.. Drinking is one of a range of possible activities, or a stimulant to other, more central activities, rather than the means of whiling away cold hours. I miss that sense of lunar camaraderie. Also, it's really annoying when you need eggs for midnight snacks. I need my night eggs.

Festival spirit without aggro - somewhat related to the last one. I miss being able to go to massive cherry blossom picnics or other traditional festivals, cracking open a few beers, chatting amiably with strangers and feeling like everyone around me is having a harmlessly pleasant time. The UK really doesn't have enough traditional festivals, and most of the ones we do have seem to revolve around Morris dancing. But to be honest, I don't really want lots of festivals here, because I know we'd do them wrong. People would get edgy and ruin everything. There would be litter and a constant low-level aura of menace. As a generalisation, I trust Japanese people much more when it comes to combining massive overcrowding, alcohol and ceremony.

Trains - I live in the kingdom of Southern Rail. This one wasn't difficult.

Placeholder blogpost just to keep to my 1-per-week minimum because I'm moving this week and I am ill-prepared

Tuna sandwich